Top ten tips: How to date a French woman
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Do you simply go to the country, you meet the man, and there you go? He seemed to really like me when we were together. I can understand English well enough, but writing is not really my strong point. Thanks for reading me.
Everything in our lives is influenced by our cultures. The rule number one in dating in is that there are no rules!
French women - Nor did I know about this first date, second date and third date business. Members can go to participate in forums and suggest ways to make their relationships successful.
Dating a French man! The dream of every foreign woman, and a few gay men too… But how make this dream come true? Do you simply go to the country, you meet the man, and there you go? Everything in our lives is influenced by our cultures. Knowing these local rules is of an utmost importance. It is the case with any rule, but even more so with dating, especially because too many people assume that dating is natural and not cultural. The rule number one in dating in is that there are no rules! Actually, the very concept of dating is not very clearly defined in France. Please note that in France, you rarely meet your future date in a bar or a club… Well, it can happen, but much less than in the US. A big difference between both countries is the bar scene. Also note that blind dates are almost non-existent in France. But also note that all of those things have been changing a lot in recent years because of internet dating that has become extremely popular in France, and especially in Paris. One other thing one needs to know when asking a French woman out. How is this relevant for a foreign woman dating a French man? Remember that dates are not as codified in France, which means that basically anything goes, and what will make it a good or a bad date is whether you had a good time or not, and not whether he or she said or did this or that. None of these exist in France. And, usually and contrarily to the US, the more the guy calls, the better. In France, if a guy calls a girl a lot, it means he cares. I remember a few years ago, the last time I had a French female roommate. She started seeing this French guy. Yep, this is how French women are, and as a consequence, this is how French men that have only dated French women will behave too. None of this is OK in France. Well, kissing while completely wasted is somewhat OK, but will sometimes become very embarrassing the following day, depending on who kissed who. However, in a dating situation, kissing on the lips, and especially French kissing, means one and only thing: you want to be in a relationship with the person. Kissing and dating other people is not OK anymore. Sex with a French Man On the other hand, remember that French society and French people are not as messed up as Americans are when it comes to sex. Even if things are far from perfect, they have a much healthier and more casual approach to sex. Hence the importance of the timing of that kiss regarding to where you want to go and what you want to do with that person. The main disadvantages are that things can be a bit too blurry at times, especially in the pre-dating phase. These kinds of misunderstandings never happened to me while in the US. However, concerning this last point, I wonder if this is really related to the differences in dating rules in both countries, or the differences in behavior in girls from both countries? Well, I guess I covered the issue in the main lines. If you think you can bring your two cents to the discussion, the comments are here for that. However, note that I strictly moderate them especially this post. In particular, if you have a question about this particular French man, please note that the comment section is not the place to ask. About kissing…I think one thing that confuses Americans is that there is such a strict line between the cheek kissing we all do here in France as a greeting or a goodbye and lip kissing. Good to know that here in France, a kiss on the lips signals…romantic relationship! I married with French now, and all I can say about your post is so true. I from asia, and we do have very different culture of dating. But honestly with french, is so much different, and they speak their mind often, even you like it or not. But that what love is then! It is a refreshing read, very enjoyable to understand it and I will return to read again and to share this with my female online friends we have a web community in which we discuss dating, and we have mostly US, Australian and British women, but also women from many other countries from time to time. Many thanks… I am from the South in the US so I will say to you a Southern saying: You are so sweet to share this! I adore that dynamic, and that is what I seek in a relationship for sure… one reason I keep dating men from New York City, Chicago etc. In the South here, we avoid speaking the truth constantly in order to control others and to avoid offending, and it is not one of our better points sometimes imo. For example, you can tell when someone is from New York by the directness of their responses, even after they lose their New York accent. They tend not to hold back on any question. However, a person from a southern state tends to be more warm and courteous. They are the least likely to offend in normal conversation. In my opinion, the latter is more effective and Southerners tend to get away with a lot more due to their passive aggressiveness but again that is only my opinion. Then there are people from Texas, the southwest, etc. However, even North-Eastern Americans are not as direct that you think they are. I am a Canadian woman married to a young Frenchman who was born and raised in Paris. We are currently residing in Canada and married last July in Paris. I will also note ours is age gap relationship, I am current 47 and he is 33. I met my husband when he was here in Canada 5 years ago. He was in Canada through the Canada-France young professional government program. I can say the article is pretty much bang on. I have been courted a few times in my life, but no guy has ever courted me the way my husband did. Calls, texts, messages in a bottle, S. I never got confused if my then future husband liked me or not. I did however treat him to a live hockey game, which he loved! And for the record his French accent is still music to my ears. Hopefully the ones in Paris are as charming as your husband! Thanks for sharing this post. Everything you said about French men are all true in regards with dating. But there is one that I admire highly with French people… They are very family loving people. For them family is very important. This post will speak a lot about my relationship with French people. I am not dressed suggestively nor would I consider myself beautiful I am a bit overwieght. I am just wondering if this is normal, as other girls I have talked to have not had it happen to them, and what I am expected to do about it. You mean someone calling a friend from the opposite sex? I have never ever heard of that in France. The only time I saw that in the early days of Facebook, in the US FB was only in the US at the time , where some college girls would joke that they were married to their best female friend I never really got what was funny about that… or was it a not so subtle way to tell the world that they had explored homosexuality with each other? I find we also speak our minds, not as much as France though, but still very direct. But I find Canadian men do it to act tough, because acting like they care is somehow unmanly? If I want something, I will get it. I also find that Canadian and, especially American men, they get their panties in a bunch over sex. Very prude and immature. I do wish that French men would take no for an answer though. No need for judgment calls. How would you like it if I said Canadian women are all sluts and whores! I do love the gallic bluntness and passion for lively discussions, i. I fit right in! My French friend just let me know that he finds me very intelligent in some areas, but not in others. However, maybe a French woman may be able to answer you better than I can. Also may I advise you to ask the question in the Ask a Frenchman Google+ community, you may find answers the link is on the sidebar on the right. As I recall, there was not a lot of small talk leading up to the invitation. Since he was a perfect stranger, I declined. He asked maybe 1-2 times more and seemed surprised that I still said no. I was not offended by his persistence but I was aware that I was alone in a foreign country and going out with a total stranger did not seem like a smart idea. Should I have gone?!? I am enjoying reading the comments section Too. I am just acclimating to process of dating a Frenchman. He was learning English and I am learning French. After about a month we had grown close and we began to have romantic feelings for one another. We are both married so after about a month of online romance, we decided it was best to split up before either one of us ended up in a divorce court. It took six tries, lots of tears and sweet, sad words, but we finally managed to break free from one another. It has been nearly a month now and I still think about him all the time. I cry regularly wishing I could talk with him again. I love my husband, daughter and my life here in America, but there was something so different about him. He was so sweet, caring and protective. At the same time he was boyish and fallible. His wife seemed to know of the affair but turned a blind eye. I had to tell my husband because I was crying so much after the break-up that he wanted to know what the heck was wrong. Things are okay between us for now. I did some major apologizing and am trying to be a better wife and mother. I think he will forever be in my heart until the day I die. I am in misery and I suppose he is too. I may be looking at a lifetime of suffering. Thanks for reading me. I also unfortunately have some experience with broken hearts in my life but not with him. Honey, if a man will cheat with you, he will cheat on you, and this is true worldwide. There was no way this could have ended better, and you are really lucky your husband took you back! This was not a beautiful man if he would hurt you like this. His wife was probably used to it or they have an open relationship! The Frenchman I talk to is a great person and great to work with. We actually do work hard with our conversation and grammar exercises. I am learning a lot! I assure you there are actually good guys and gals in France who are great colleagues! We were are very much in love and now in a great deal of pain over the break-up. Love can happen to mature people too. The heart does not ask for permission and it does not ask or care how old you are or even if you are married. The brain and the conscience must step in to bring order to the situation. We were both guilty of cheating, not just him. But, to our credit, we also both decided to end the relationship before more people were hurt. Merci for printing my article. When I talk about fantasies and nonsense, I by no means alludes to your story. Imagine a second if many men fantasized along the same line about dating a certain type of foreign woman I know it happens , how racist and sexist would it sound? I agree with you; however, the stereotype of the romantic Frenchman is very strong in the world and is, in large part, responsible for the popularity of France as a tourist attraction and for sales of French products abroad. French consumer products carry a romantic allure and a price tag to go with them. Beautiful women are objectified to sell products all the time and so it is with men who speak romance languages, I guess. The other side of this coin is that American men see being romantic as a weakness and do very little of it. American women are left hungry for romance and learn to do without. With the internet, however, it is now possible to contact men around the world who are comfortable being romantic and American women are not hesitating to do so. Thought I would share my experience here. I dated a French guy briefly and had no idea of these rules or lack thereof until now. We met in NYC while in grad school. Several months later, he left NYC and moved to Paris. I too have been moving to different places since then. But recently I visited Paris and decided to write him after almost 4 years of no contact. He responded right away and was so eager to see me. We met up, had a good, and instantly connected like we used to. At the end of the night he hugged me for a long while then kissed me yes on the lips. A few days later we met up again. I left for other parts of Europe and returned to Paris a few weeks later, we met up again. This time he was different. He was open and more relaxed. At the end of the night, he walked me back then again grabbed me and kissed me passionately for a couple of minutes. It was also unexpected for me. Several days later we met up again. This time we did have sex and both did expect it. We said goodbye and promised to stay in touch. The next day, he texted and asked to see me again. We said goodbye for real. As I walked away, I turned around only to find him hiding by a tree and watching me. I wish I could run back to him like in a fairy tale. But in real life, physical distance matters. We are now one ocean away from each other. One thing is certain though, he did expect me to be monogamous as soon as he planted his lips on me. He explained that love is a process. He did say he loves me after a month of being with me. He never tried internet dating nor was he desperately looking. He told me that when it comes, it comes. And I, just happened to be in the right place at the right time and we eventually fell in love! I did give him my phone number and email and have heard from him every day since with declarations of love. Do you know of a good app or program that works with Skype that will translate our conversation? I am not sure how old he is but I think he is much younger than me and that makes me a little nervous for him to find out my true age! Anyway, any good translators? I love this blog! Thank you David for all of your detailed information. We met through mutual friends while I was in Paris. We kissed on the first date and yes, we had sex. We were inseparable after that! He texted me and messaged me up until now all day long, every single day! I cane back to California and he wanted to come see me one month after. He knows I go to Paris every year, once a year and he wanted to come in a month! I was very overwhelmed. I wanted to know how he would react to the question. This made my day! He tells me he misses me all day long. He sends my selfies at least 2 times a week. And he tells me what he is doing all the time! He did not disclose he was French. He wrote he would not pursue a woman if there was no reply, however, when there was no reply, he wrote again haha. I asked him to send a picture of himself smiling, he looked soo serious, and he did provide a picture with a big smile promptly haha. He was direct and complimentary. I immediately noticed the difference from the style of American men and asked if he was French, especially after he selected a French restaurant for us to meet at. I am very excited to meet him and think this article will help me out a little on our first date. The frenchman I met is like 18, but strangely he is not the type to go on social media, and he has moved back to Paris and we are now in different continents. I constantly message him, and he takes hours to respond, and he never messages me first. He is known to barely chat online. He seemed to really like me when we were together. How do I know his feelings? The 10% remaining may indulge some romantic, flirtatious, hard-to-get game but these are really specific situation. I can understand English well enough, but writing is not really my strong point. Some guys are insisting, adorably or heavily, but they are not all so persistent fortunately, this behavior makes me uneasy, except if the guy is exceptionally funny and charismatic. It depends on people. Thanks for your feedback. You help me to understand my long distant relationship with my French man. He was planing to move to USA, in fact he bought a condominium in FL. We are over 50 years old. I have to keep faith he will move or ask me to move there. The problem he has is that his son wanted to move to USA and now his son has a girlfriend. He is very private about his son and i like to respect whatever he does. He had visiting me and we get alone great. David you are adorable. It gives me insights! He is noticing every single details of me.. I am trying my best to comply. Second, he wants me to STOP funding my family. He wants me to secure my money by keeping my SAVINGS and used it for ourselves. He always raised his arguments against this. Though his salary is 3x bigger than mine! Then lastly, he wants our relationship to just go with the flow, no expectations, no pressures. Does he just wanna play? IF yes, why he is demanding too much from me if he just wants me to CHILL? And I also discovered he is chatting with other girls and even inviting them for meet-up and beers? I told him, are you BORED with me? It was a big fight and I even initiated the break -up.. Awaiting for your comments. Thanks for the exception and I really appreciate it coz I need some advice coming from the same culture French. Yes, maybe you are right.. But actions speaks louder than words.. I did my best! More power to this site! I am currently doing research on dating and relationships. Ot of curiosity, how do people meet people in France? You did touch upon how it can be from work, friends and even online dating. I remember a male friend of mine who lived in France for many years tried to convince their American friends that the French are a lot more conservative about sex than you are told. I have never in my life found it hard to be a slut in America. My French girlfriends talk all the time about how hard it is being considered a slut in France and how it dictates their every move. I studied abroad in Paris in 2013, and I want to bring up my experiences as a twentysomething. In their eyes, I was the slutty American who got drunk and hooked up with their friend. Their culture, his culture, and my culture had very different standards for kissing, sex, and physical touch, and it all came together in an unfortunate way. So maybe he did just want me for sex, because according to your article if he were really interested he would be calling or texting me every day. I should probably just not worry about it, since the relationship is probably doomed due to the impending long-distance situation. Ah well, live and learn. He allow me to become myself and never hide my feeling even though it might hurt him, he just want me to be happy, be myself and honest with him. He is old school type person and very polite to tell me how he feel and discipline me… I guess French people is polite and I see how French kids behave very well on the table.. The one thing that is missing and which is important to me is to know how Frenchmen feel about an older woman. I am currently being wooed by a Frenchman 12 years my junior and he swears it is not a problem. That may be so whilst our relationshpi is new and exciting but what about in years hence. I lived in Spain for several years and Spanish men do not give a thought to age differences. I dated one very wonderful French man and I am a Malaysian, we have been in a very good and stable relationship. He is also always polite and respectful. We talk about the future a lot and this guy has met my father and I am in good contact with his family too. He never use any words but only the emoticons. What does it mean?? I was laughing all throughout because I have experienced a couple of these things which a Frenchman. Quick question: On our first date after eating our meals I offered to split the cost yes, I am American, I do not know why I did that but I was hoping we would reject my offer and pay BUT he accepted that we split the bill. This was a major turn off for me. In French culture — is picking up the bill for your date a big deal as it is in the States? Or was this guy just acting like a jerk? Personally, I find not-splitting the bill extremely sexist. The French guy I am seeing keeps insisting on paying each time, but relented a bit and said I could pay next time…but.. I do not think he will keep his word lol.. So if you feel comfortable for him to kiss you and obviously if you want it to happen , let him do it. I went to read this for fun, and I actually laugh because a lot was right! But even here, sometimes we can kiss for fun, but I know only few people how did this. But it can depending of the person. So, now I can answer after 3 or 4 hours this is a lot of time between two text in France, you have to tell that you can take time to answer. Otherwise, we will be worried about what could happen! At last, for the asking out thing… Yeah, we guys are expected to make the first move, but girls and women can make it to. I hope my english will not make you sick, nor make your eyes bleed, and thank you for this article!
Attraction & Dating Tips : Dating French Girls
And I also discovered he is chatting with other girls and even inviting them for meet-up and beers. It was also unexpected for me. They are the least likely to offend in normal conversation. Hopefully the ones in Paris are as charming as your husband. However, maybe a French woman may be able to answer you better than I can. He knows I go to Paris every year, once a year and he pan to come in a month. Politics is an important topic of discussion in France and the women too hold definite views on various policies and happenings not only in their country but in the larger international context. Knowing these local rules is of an utmost importance.
